A before B?

I've been thinking about the alphabet a lot recently. Please don't ask me why, but I think it might have something to do with the fact that I have trouble spelling these days. I'm constantly reciting "I before E except after C" or relying on Auto Correct, which is inherently incorrect. also cannot remember the elementary school jingle: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G…".

More specifically, I have been thinking about the letter "A." We have been trained from birth that it is the first letter of the alphabet. Why? Would it make any difference if it was the fourteenth or twentieth letter? In the grand scheme of life, why does it make any difference what order all letters are in?

I wish I could change the order of the alphabet to something other than alphabetical. For example, I could rearrange the alphabet into the same order as on a keyboard, with the letter Q coming first, followed by the letter W.

 I could also arrange the alphabet harmonically with the letters that sound alike. I would then have B, C, D, E, G, P, T, V, and Z in one group, A, J, and K together, Y and I together, and finally, F, L, M, N, and S. Of the remaining letters: H, O, Q, R, U, and W I would turn into a saying something like: "Understanding Humorous Oscar's Quirky Rhymes Wither." Finally, I would eliminate X. There are only a few words beginning with X, and most people, except Scrabble and Crossword players, don't know them.

Although I would love to propose this change, I realize the alphabet is too embedded in our culture. Think about this for a minute. If the letter "A" were not first in the alphabet, any benefit that AAA Auto Repair would derive for being listed first in the telephone book would be lost. This theory is, of course, illogical because you are reaching only those people who are interested in the letter "A" as it might relate to auto repair. I would begin my search in the "X" section since XXX Auto Repair conjures up something much more imaginative, and I would get a charge out of not giving Mr. "I think I'm real clever naming my company AAA Auto Repair to be first in the Yellow Pages" an opportunity for my business.

 

 Of course, were you not having A as the first letter would affect eggs and pure maple syrup? Would you purchase M-graded eggs or spend $10.00 for a pint of P-grade pure maple syrup? I think not!

Sometimes, "A" isn't used as a symbol to denote grading, the first in order, or a series. "A," for example, is the sixth tone of the ascending C major scale, a significant blood group. In both cases, they must be misused or understood. If you have "A" type blood, it doesn't mean that you have the best blood or it's the first in the order of blood types unless you want to list them alphabetically.

You also have to face the problems of the positive and minus symbols that often are associated with some letters of the alphabet. What comes first? - "A+" or "A"? In logic, the plus and minus symbols might be subsets of the letter "A" and belong in the second-level hierarchy. On the other hand, if you have an A+ on your statistics test, you would consider it more significant than an "A." I believe that "A+" does not appear alphabetically before "A" and that a greater power could enable that to happen. It is the "greater than" symbol- >. There is a logical argument then that ">A" should precede "A" in the alphabet- that is, of course, if you believe that the alphabet should be listed in the order that it is.

Also, for some indeterminable reason, "A" forms the basis for the sound made when falling from a great height. The usual usage is "aaaaah," while this volume gradually decreases as you hit the ground. Some innovative writers have attempted to replace this with another sound, hoping to catch on and make it notable. So far, this hasn't happened. In some cases, a person jumping off something much lower, say a rock of moderate size, might say, "Weee."

In summation, I believe grammarians and kindergarten teachers need to rethink the order of the alphabet. It just makes sense to me.