Power Of The Military – An Idea

        The U.S. military has had great success setting up no-fly zones over the lands of foreign enemies. So maybe we should unleash the power of the military over domestic foes. Here are some ideas on how to do this.

        Americans are among the fattest people in the world, which isn't a good thing because when overweight individuals go to the hospital for weight-related illnesses, they increase medical insurance premiums for the rest of us. Can anything be done about this problem? The answer is yes, specifically have the military impose a no-fry zone.

        The U.S. military could declare martial law in the nation and ban fried foods from being cooked here. American soldiers would be stationed in restaurant kitchens across the United States to ensure no foods were fried in them, and at meal times, raids would be conducted in homes throughout the land to ensure people were munching fried-free fare. American naval power would participate by delivering threats to fire cruise missiles at Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurants. Air Force drones would fly nationwide looking for people trying to flout the fried-food ban.

        Once a no-fry zone was successfully established, the military would begin the second phase of the enterprise, which would be to proclaim a no-pie zone to keep the pressure going. The purpose would be to get Americans to ingest fruits and other healthy foodstuffs for dessert. The final part of the operation would be widening food restrictions via a no-ham-on-rye zone and a no-pizza-pie zone.

        U.S. armed forces could set up a no-lie zone in Congress to fight legislative false news. This zone, of course, would include our ex-president, Donald Trump. Specifically, American troops trained in spotting lies would be stationed inside Congressional hearing rooms to detect lies told by legislators. When falsehoods are discovered, the lawmakers telling them would be questioned, and if it were determined a person fibbed, they would be sent for rehabilitation to a detention center.

        The military would also establish a no-cry zone to spare the public from watching their elected representatives break down when giving talks and interviews. If anybody should be crying these days, it is the American people who have had to tolerate Congressional clowns who defer making essential decisions on the economy and, as a result, have left us all in a we've-been-put-out-to-dry zone.

        Wouldn't it be great to have a no-hi zone to restrict people you don't know from sending emails that begin with the chatty salutation "hi" rather than the more formal "hello?" And how about a no-buy zone to keep annoying popup ads from appearing on your computer screen when you google something? Such zones are perfectly doable through U.S. government Internet surveillance, which, since 9/11, the CIA has already done through a no-you-cannot-ask-why zone and a what-we-do-is-pry zone.

        Another zone that needs to be established prohibits people from calling each other "deplorables on social media. There is too much dissing going on in our culture these days. To promote graciousness and civility, the military could enact a no-mocking zone. In that zone, conversations would have to be straightforward and respectful. Individuals who kept on issuing insults would be ushered to a bye-bye zone where they would be forced to watch the last 50 speeches delivered by Trump.