Too Hot, Too Cold

The moon cast a ray of light through the partially open curtain. It was just past midnight, and I was lying in bed staring at the dim glow on the ceiling. My Apple watch's alarm had awakened me a few minutes earlier. I rolled onto my side to make sure my wife was still sleeping. It was time for my nightly ritual.

I threw the covers aside and rolled out of bed, trying to be as quiet as possible. I got on my hands and knees and crawled into the hallway, turning my flashlight on its low setting. Stealth was important. The slightest noise or errant flash of light would wake up my wife.

I continued to crawl down the hall until my knee crunched down on a shard of bone that my dog, Tupper, had errantly left. The pain was excruciating, and it took all of my will not to scream out. Instead, I pulled up my tee shirt and stuffed it in my mouth. If that wasn't bad enough, Tupper heard me and came prancing down the hall with her favorite toy that she loved to play tug of war with. She would shove it into your face if you didn't comply with her desire to play.

 An 80-pound, one and a half years old labrador retriever is a strong dog. I had no choice but to grab the toy and play with her. I wasn't strong enough to pull it away from her, so she managed to drag me down the hall. As she did, I noticed that I was leaving a bloody streak on the carpet from the cut on my knee. She continued to drag me, and as she did, she backed into a small stand that had an urn with my previous dog's ashes in it and knocked it on the floor. It broke, and ashes were strewn all over. Tupper, thinking this was a treat, started licking it up. I had no choice but to stand up and retrieve a dustpan from the nearby closet. I had to clean it up as I couldn't leave any evidence of my nightly trips. I would also have to take care of the blood stain before I returned to bed.

I managed to clean up the ashes. In the meantime, Tupper retreated to the kitchen and began whining, thinking it was time to eat. I quickly entered the kitchen and gave her a handful of treats.

I grabbed a sponge while there and retreated to the hall, where I got back on my hands and knees and tried to wipe up the streak I had left. It was a real chore, and I was exhausted. My tee shirt was still stuffed in my mouth, so breathing was hard.

Suddenly, I heard my wife get up, and I could see her heading to the bathroom that, luckily, didn't involve her coming into the hallway. To be cautious, I rolled through the door into my office and hid under the desk, thinking I would have to devise an excuse if I were caught there.

After a few minutes, I returned to the hall and finished my cleaning before I resumed my goal, which was mounted on the wall above me. When I was done, I reached up to the thermostat that was there. I flashed my light carefully, found the needed switch, and turned the temperature to 68 degrees. My wife, who could sleep outside in a snowstorm, liked to keep it at a chilly 62 degrees. It was a constant battle.

I finally returned to bed. My nightly routine was a success.